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Racial dating lines across don't like

“Love and politics are the two great figures of social engagement. Politics is enthusiasm with a collective, with love: two people.�? – Alain Badiou

In a world of constant connection & one hell of a divisive presidential campaign; politics are as easy to avoid as a drowning man avoiding water. Who we side with & what we support aren’t just facets of ourselves, but a reflection of our being entirely. (At least that's how it seems.)

Hell, studies show 30% of Millennials won’t date someone based on the TV preferences as a whole, much less their news station. Seriously, 3/10 of 18-34 year olds are willing to write you off based on your binge-watching habits. Never mind your ballot choices...

So you can imagine my surprise when I wound up dating someone who's political ideals generally make me want to gag...

Now you might be thinking I'm writing this as someone who always related to past generations. You know, when who you voted for was secret & up to 40% of marriages were bipartisan. 

Sorry to disappoint you. I’ve unfollowed for cringing statuses. I’ve ditched after current event disagreements. I’ve swiped left on far Right selfies. I’m part of the 90% who say they have/would put political differences the deal-breaker list, for sure.

Or maybe you have your fingers crossed we tossed aside our politics, like Romeo & Juliet did their family ties. Let’s just say if jumping parties were the Friar’s sleeping potion, the plan would fail completion just the same. (AKA, one of us would die before the other “woke up�? & crossed party lines.)

I suppose it doesn't matter how we got here, because well... here we are. Card-holding members of a rapidly decreasing club: a bipartisan couple.

I'm sure you're sound of mind enough to recognize potential problems. Or even wonder what good could possibly come from such a circumstance! Believe it or not, there are positive aspects to having a politically-divided partner. Like anything in life, it's all about perspective. 

Whether you're already dating across the aisle, or considering it, here are 8 upsides to dating across party lines.


1. Get in there and fight: You can't always ignore the elephant in the room (pun intended). When you're faced with friction factors daily, habits created can benefit all aspects. Confrontations become conversations. Focus becomes you vs the problem, not you vs each other. You master the art of timing. 

Look, we all like to think we aren’t getting personal or coming across as elitist. But there's a fine line between educating & instigating. You learn to walk when it can follow you to bed that night. Before you know it, healthy habits become second nature. That's a pretty awesome skill to have with a partner.

2. Keeping it kosher: Life is a balance of what to hold onto & what to let go. You remind each other of positives & focus on mutual goals. You keep each other in check. You forgive each other for being human. You cut each other slack. When you accept someone for who they are, even the parts you don't like, it has a ripple effect. By putting as much effort (or more) into appreciating the good things it can make the latter seem pretty insignificant in the long run.

3. Negotiate & obliterate: Somewhere between coming to terms with the fact you have different perspectives & ideas, it hits you: divide and conquer is your forte. For real, every base is covered. When shit hits the fan, you good cop/bad cop on a pro-level. You can delegate each other's strengths in your sleep. You can confidently conquer whatever comes your way, knowing no stone is left unturned. By putting your minds together you're basically MacGyver. Any problem can be solved with a little ingenuity, right? 

4. Meeting in the middle: You find common ground in unexpected places. The Daily Show makes fun of Dems too. Megyn Kelly dogs Trump on Fox News. You both cringed through a good portion of debates. You laughed together when Gary Johnson called Trump a pussy. You agree Jill Stein should have chosen Vermin Supreme as her running mate. Her iffy vaccination opinions plus his zombie energy plan seems like a match... point is, compromise can be anywhere - if you're open to finding it. 

5. Shut up & listen: Since neither one of you are going to budge on certain issues, it may seem unnecessary to hear them out. Thing is, sometimes you just need to let them vent. Not everything is personal, not every conversation has a finish line. Learning the difference between hearing someone & actually listening is a pretty solid practice. 

It can be easy to make assumptions, or wait for a pause to jump in with an already-thought-out reply. Giving each other room for expression is part of your well-oiled machine, & it has some applicable moments across the board. 

6. Priorities, please: Picking your battles & choosing your reactions to each other requires a more conscious effort. And you know what? Grandma was on to something when she would preach about thinking before you speak. 

Furthermore, when you're cool with each other having different emphasis on social issues, it occurs on personal ones as well. You find ways to compromise on hobbies, music selections or dinner. Knowing your partner supports you, not because they feel the same about something, but because they want you to be happy? Sold.

7. Laugh a little: SNL ratings jump every election year for a reason. Politics & satire go hand in hand. Take things with a grain of salt. Make light of your situation. I would be lying if I said deplorable & Trump quotes aren’t topping my vocab usage. If I had a dollar for every peace-loving-hippy comment he’s fired back, we’d be tax-loop hole brilliant rich. It’s the verbal equivalent to a tickle war, except yelling "Gary Johnson" instead of "Uncle" to truce it out. 

8. Back to basics: Set down your phones & turn off the tv once in awhile. Explore each other. Jump in the car, turn up the stereo, & get lost together. Go on an adventure, get intrigued by something brand new.

When the world around you feels like it's ripping you apart, make your own world to be in. Yes, political decisions effect you at large. But at the end of the day, it's only going to be the two of you effecting that moment. The world won't burn if you unplug for a little bit.


So, here’s to all the couples who break the rules! For braving dating the “enemy�? & not judging a book by its cover. People may look at you like you’re crazy. They may question your beliefs. However, considering the parties themselves divided internally this election, you’re in better company than you think... 

Split-ticket voting is on the rise. Libertarians are multiplying. Politics have been rocked by change as the demographics keep sliding. You might fight with each other. You may ruffle each other’s feathers. At least you have an excuse for makeup sex after watching the news together?

I mean hey, who’s to say what’s normal anymore? We argue over one side thinking a candidate belongs in jail. The other party questions how the latter spends his billions. We get in uproars about kneeling. Corporations toxify our water. Our cell phones are bombs apparently & clowns terrorize our streets. All we need now is the Batmobile or the Mystery Machine.

So, keep going bi-partisan bitches! Do what makes you happy. In the end, love conquers all, so there’s a chance you’ll be alright. Fuck what anyone else thinks of who you crawl in bed with every night. 

It's said that love is blind & justice is blind too. Keep that in mind November 8th when one of you does a victory dance around the room. ;)


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