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INFPs make up a small percentage of the population in comparison to many other personality types. They represent the most imaginative and powerfully idealistic of the 16 personalities. These traits coupled with their emotional intensity make INFP relationships complex.

This page explains how INFPs bond with the people they love. Keep in mind, this article is a generalization of how INFPs behave and manage in their relationships. It is in no means a representation of all INFPs, for every INFP identity is unique!

Note: For further exploration of the INFP personality type and what it truly means to be an INFP, see  The Comprehensive INFP Survival Guide. This book paints the portrait of the INFP personality type broader and more intensely than any other in this field. It delves into subjects such as understanding INFPs, succeeding the the workplace as an INFP, and how to manage you “dark side” and emotional intensity as an INFP.

How INFPs Love

When an INFP says they love you, they mean it. INFPs are thinkers and dreamers, so when they announce their love, they have explored the idea in every possible way. However, you shouldn’t expect an INFP personality type to be overly verbal in expressing their emotions. Instead, INFPs favor translating their feelings into words through letters, poems, or songs.

INFPs give love their all. They are idealistic beings and will work to find a relationship that upholds their ideals. Furthermore, they will continuously try to morph their relationships to be closer to these ideals. This isn’t a sign that they aren’t happy in their relationships, but it shows the tendencies of INFPs to strive for perfection in everything they do.

INFPs know how to love and can be hopeless romantics. More often than not, they are devoted, trustworthy, caring, and affectionate.

INFPs value meaningful relationships and fantasize over growing old with their significant other.

Sex In INFP Relationships

Sex in INFP relationships is better described as “making love”. INFP personality types feel that sex brings two people closer together, creating intimacy and a chance to bond with their partner. Without intimacy they will not be satisfied in bed. Because of this, they usually steer clear of friends with benefits relationships, which are not fun without true connection.

When it comes to sexual exploration, INFPs are usually fairly innocent. They prefer “vanilla” style sex that focuses on romanticism. Sex with an INFP is very enjoyable because they love to please their partners and feel fulfillment out of doing so.

As mentioned above, INFPs strive for perfection in everything they do, and sex is no exception.

Dating An INFP Personality Type

The first thing to be aware of when dating an INFP personality type is that they are often shy when pursuing someone they like. INFPs will drop little signs when they are into someone, which may unfortunately go unnoticed by the receiver. They are afraid of putting themselves “out there”, so they rely on these little hints to illustrate their feelings.

That being said, it might be necessary for someone dating/pursuing an INFP personality type to initiate the romance. Take the first step and see if your INFP follows along.

In dating, INFPs are slow to open up and are imaginative dreamers. They take time to explore their relationships and thoughts in their heads before letting others in. They may think through scenarios and fantasies and can develop ideas about people that simply aren’t true. These dreamy thoughts distract INFPs from distinguishing truth and reality from fantasy.

If you are in a relationship with an INFP personality type, you may find the need to bring your partner back to reality when they are following a path of fiction. INFPs tend to follow their feelings when making decisions but can be also logical when confronted with facts.

 Forming an INFP relationship takes time. It is well worth it, for INFPs are intimate and loyal partners.

Compatibility in INFP Relationships

The “I” in INFP represents their introverted nature. A study conducted on Jungian Theory found that opposites in terms of Introverted-Extroverted (I-E) are more likely to attract. It seems that INFP relationships are more easily formed when their partner is more extroverted. Because INFPs tend to be shy and have trouble initiating relationships, extroverts have a simpler time breaking through their shell.

Although, given more time, other introverts may be able to form intimate connections with INFPs as well.

INFPs are fond of the “new”. They love to explore unfamiliar places, hobbies, and things. Their paths are always taking exciting turns, and they work well with someone who accepts that and may even go along for the ride every once in a while. Furthermore, INFPs will appreciate a partner who helps them along their way, for they often have difficulty following through with their big ideas.

INFP relationships thrive when both partners are affectionate. If you are able to share your feelings, be intimate, and compliment your INFP, they will feel a stronger connection with you.

Another INFP relationship compatibility factor pertains to the Thinking-Feeling (T-F) aspect in the Myers Briggs type indicator. Studies have shown that Thinking-Feeling functions are related to perceived marriage satisfaction. On average, married couples are more similar on Thinking-Feeling preferences.

Lastly, INFPs can struggle to keep up with daily-life tasks and errands. They gloss over the little humdrum responsibilities of adult life and often find themselves in a messy home with dishes to wash and laundry to fold. Therefore, INFP relationships may benefit when one partner is better organized.

INFP Personality Type In Break-Ups

Bad break-ups can be devastating to INFPs. They only enter into relationships when they feel a deep connection. They seek lifelong bonds, and when those bonds are broken it brings a whirlwind of pain.

It should be noted that INFPs generally avoid conflict, and this tendency holds true in their relationships. This conflict aversion can lead to INFPs staying in a poor relationships for far too long. See our advice on when to end a relationship.

Another reason an INFP may stay in a bad relationship is that their imaginative mind paints a false picture of their partner. They see only the good, make excuses for the bad, and even conjure up traits for their significant other that are not true. They hold on to their ideals and fight for their relationships even when they are not worth it.

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