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When Christmas is right around the corner, the question we always ask is: How much should I spend on a Christmas gift for her? And, of course, if you ask any woman, she’s never going to give you a straight answer.
Well, I'm going to tell you the exact rules of Christmas gift giving and spending. So, let's go through it right now so that all of you understand there's a certain time frame and money allowance for each situation.
If you've only been dating a few weeks, I strongly suggest you get something fun. That means you get something that pertains to the moments you've spent together. Maybe you listened to a song you both enjoyed or maybe you went and saw a concert together. Maybe you went to this really cool store together and she really liked this little trinket, maybe a tiny teddy bear, whatever. But if you've only been dating a few weeks, I strongly suggest that the present you give be more of a gimmicky, fun, easygoing type of present.
Try to find something that doesn't cost you a lot of money (probably under $25), that she's not going to return and that lets her think about your first Christmas together as really cute and memorable.
Now let's say you met her in October — you've been dating for two or three months. This type of Christmas gift is a little tricky because you're expected to get something thoughtful and nice, but you don't want to go overboard. You don't exactly know whether or not it’s serious and you don’t know what she's going to get you either.
And there is a little asterisk to this one: In this case, you've not uttered the words "I love you," because "I love you," to me, creates the need for much more significant gifts. So let's say, for instance, you've been dating for a couple of months and you really like each other. You enjoy each others' company. You're seeing each other a couple days a week. She's staying over at your house and so forth. What I would do in this situation is, once again, stick with the fun gift, but get her a couple of them.
Maybe buy some little lingerie that she can wear when she stays over at your house or a fun pair of Christmas Santa pajamas. Try something that's really kind of quirky, kind of off-beat. Maybe add a pair of earrings, but make sure they're a fun, old, antique pair of earrings or an item that you've seen at the markets with her and know she really likes. You want to find something feminine but nothing really expensive. It should be an item that you can pick up at any little specialty store. If it’s the antique earrings we talked about, they're probably $20-$25. The whole present should probably be under $100 for all of these things together.
Now let's say, for instance, you've already uttered the words "I love you." If you're telling each other you love each other, then you're going to have to add something a little more fancy to the mix. Spend a couple hundred dollars total on her (she may well be spending that on you). Maybe get a couple pairs of earrings, maybe a nice piece of jewelry or something that she's going to enjoy along with the kind of fun little quirky gifts.
"I Love You"
If you've been dating six months or longer, you've probably uttered the words "I love you." You're boyfriend and girlfriend. This is when Christmas gets creative. First off, you're expected to get her gifts. Secondly, she's now going to start hinting at specific gifts. In order to figure out what to spend on her gift, you've got to figure out what your budget is because you don't want to break the bank. You want to look back at what you've been doing over the last six months, what your spending habits have been with her over the last six months. So, in this situation, I'd budget a couple hundred bucks for a few different little gifts.
Here's the deal, guys: It's not what you spend; it's how creative you get with your gifts. I remember one Christmas, I was dating a new woman. We barely knew each other. We were just starting to sleep over at each other's houses, and I literally got her a pair of pajamas — you know, one of those old heat pajamas that you wore as a kid.
I seriously got her pajamas with reindeer on it, a little Santa cap and a pair of underwear that said "Santa Loves You" or something really quirky and ridiculous like that. She loved it. It made her feel like a little girl again. It was something really simple, and it was a fun gift for her.
Once again, getting creative this time of year is more important than the amount you spend because if you make her feel like a little kid around Christmas time, it's going to allow her to enjoy the holidays so much more. So it's not about getting that incredible diamond necklace as all the commercials tell you to do, or another piece of great jewelry, or a brand new coat. It's about giving her something memorable or something that she's always wanted for herself but would never actually buy herself. That's a great gift.
It's not about how much you spend. It's about how you create that moment.